"Right"ism

One of the big personality traits I struggle with the most is Perfectionism.  When I say Perfectionism, I mean that I become frustrated, worried, or anxious when something doesn't feel "right".  Maybe "Right"ism would be a better name for it?  

A small example of this happened today at work.  My team manager scheduled a team meeting.  Some time later, the department director scheduled a conflicting department meeting at the same time.  The team is a subset of the department.  My initial reaction to this was that it was "wrong" that these two didn't coordinate together, or at least check the calendar scheduling system before announcing their meetings.  Now this situation didn't cause me to go into a spiral of anxiety or anything, I just use it to highlight the kind of thing that will mentally trip me up during my day. 

A bigger example was my week of jury duty fun last week.  There were many different situations that came up that upset me or frustrated me or more to the point took way too much of my focus and mental energy.  Three hour courtroom delays, people not listening to instructions made by the prosecuting attorney.  

I'd say a vast majority of the situations that trigger my "Right"ism are clearly things outside of my control.  I still tend to lose sight of that fact and get caught up in the "instinctive" emotions that they create in me.  Either that or I snowball.  I take my time trying to understand the situation, which delays my response, which makes me more anxious and nervous, which throws off my thinking about the situation, which causes me to again, just react instinctively and go strictly off of emotion. 

In a perfect world, when these situations come up, I would like to be calm and composed.  I would like to quietly take in as much information as I could about the situation.  I would like to identify all the factors outside of my control and either ignore them, or identify ways to work around or work through them.  And all of this would happen within a split-second, allowing me to not appear phased or thrown off and respond in a calm manner.


Questions for discussion

• Have you/Do you struggle with Perfectionism/"Right"ism?
• If you struggled with it in the past, and feel you are coping with it better today, what led you to change your thinking? What kinds of tips/tricks/tools did you use to help change your thought process?